Friday Fun and “Maxine”-isms

Last Christmas we had a gift exchange at work and Jennifer got my name.  She bought me a Maxine calendar, which I love.  Maxine is one of my favorite characters because of her snarky, no-nonsense attitude.  Here are some of my favorites from days’ past:

»  While standing on a bathroom scale, “Getting over body issues is like getting over a  fear of heights…the trick is not to look down.”

»  As she checks out at the grocery store, “I’m not sure that good things come to those who wait.  But I’ve noticed that bad things happen to people who cut in front of me in the express lane.”

»  While eating an ice cream cone, “Looking for a hot date?  Pick any date in August.  They don’t get much hotter than that.”

»  While driving her car, “There’s a word for the little things that get in my way…roadkill!”

»  With her hands on her hips, “Know what calms me down?  Throwing stuff at people who tell me to calm down.”

»  With knitting needles in her hands, “Knitting needles…cheaper than a taser and just as effective!”

»  As she brushes her teeth, “Some people see the glass as half empty.  Others see my teeth in it and just get freaked out.”

»  At the beach, “It’s nice having the entire beach to yourself.  That’s why I always pack my thong.”

»  Still at the beach, “Ah, a day at the beach…the sun in your face, the wind in your hair.  You don’t want to know where the sand goes.”

»  Sitting on suitcases, “I tried to get away from it all.  Most of it followed me.”

»  And my personal favorite: “I’m an optimist…I think most people are FULL of crap.”  hahahaha…I ♥ that one!  :)

Okay, guys…hope you enjoyed Maxine as much as I did!  Now it’s time for the pizza party giveaway.   I have to tell you…last week I picked TWO names and BOTH people haven’t returned my emails (I’m kinda starting to get a complex, people!)  So, this week, I’ve added a phone number section so I can call you!  I will pick THREE  FOUR names this week because for a couple of weeks no one has responded.  So, if you really, REALLY want a pizza party fill out the form!!  And have a  happy Friday!

pizza-party

Question of the Day:  Check out the picture of Maxine above…can you come up with a funnier punchline to this:  If computers were people, I would____________________________.  Okay guys…dazzle us with your comedic charm!!  Use the new super cool comment section!!